Ego

Mine is getting dealt with here's how.....As I mentioned before we have recently started attending a different church. This has been hard for a lot of reasons one being vanity. I was someone at Lovers Lane. I was the outreach girl, I helped orchestrate big events that were creative and kind of amazing if I don't say so myself. I was good at this and many people knew this and told me this. First I was flattered, then maybe a little proud, then it turned to pride and even a little bit of self righteousness. I would get frustrated that more people weren't involved then I would think if I don't do this it wont get done ( uhhh not true Lovers Lane has a strong outreach program) then I started to resent it I was tired getting burned out but if I don't do this what will people think and I started doing in for the praise of the people. Yuck huh? Well we left Lovers Lane (not because of this we truly felt our season there was over and I do want to say our time there was amazing and fruitful and the staff and people there are truly amazing and have been an amazing support to us in some difficult times, but leave it to me to get it twisted right?) And I am no one at my new church. I don't mean they have not been welcomed or cared for I have. But on any given Sunday I am probably one of the least knowledgeable Christians at our church. Least experienced in missions and outreach. That is a good place to be in, because it is a place of learning. It is humbling I am learning to focus on God right now and what he is doing instead of what I am doing
I also feel that the Lord has specifically told me to step down from my summer position as Asssitant Director of HEROES camp. This has also been a source of pride in my life because it truly is an amazing camp, and some one who I truly respect in my profession thought enough of me (Josh Schilling) to ask me to help him run it. This is a hard position to leave because it has kinda been my baby the last couple of years and it has been exciting to grow it with the staff. But I truly feel like I am in a season in my life where I am to rest in the Lord and find my identity in Him and not how I perform.