Maintain

It has been a long time since I posted I have mostly been trying to maintain. For those of you that know me sometimes it is not easy. Things have been crazy the last two months with family stuff and work stuff. During this time I have been reading some different books. I have read two books "The Mystical way to Evangelism" by Elaine Heath, and "the furious longing of God" by Brennan Manning. I have started reading the Ragamuffin Gospel also by Brennan Manning. These books are all amazing reads and I highly recommend them. I feel like through these books and my bible study the Lord is preparing me for a change in season of my life. "The Mystical way to Evangelism" is about the Christian Mystics and what they have taught about how we live and how we do church. (I know mysticism sounds kinda wacky but it is actually pretty biblical you can wikipedia it if you are interested) It introduces an old way to do church I say old way because it is a return to early Methodism, or even older the church of Acts. Anyways I am pretty excited about that. The other two books are about the gospel of grace. Which I thought I of all people a true "ragamuffin" understood it but there is always room to learn and both of the reads have been a cool drink for a parched soul. These books are helping me redefine my relationship with God. I am always trying to do for God to spin myself into a frenzy to please him. I experience a lot of guilt and frustration when it comes to this. But I am learning through my recent study and reading that faith is about response to what God is doing in your life. In Ragamuffin Gospel there are two quotes that really resonated with me. " A saint is not someone who is good but some one who experiences Gods goodness." I am always trying to be good instead of slowing down and experiencing what God is doing in me. Instead of working with Jesus, I find myself trying to work for Jesus. I picture God as this misery bookkeeper who is always waiting for me to fall, instead of a loving Father. I have no idea where I got this image but I am praying hard against it. I sometimes forget that the Good News is that the one who will judge us is the one who came to save us, and when He reconciles us to Him He dances and sings over us because He is so glad to have us. I just forget that sometimes. Because as Brennan Manning said " When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer. " There are two scriptures that I feel that the Lord has especially placed on my heart for this time in my life and I will close with those.
1 Peter 2:4 (The Message)
Welcome to the living Stone, the source of life. The workmen took one look and threw it out; God set it in the place of honor. Present yourselves as building stones for the construction of a sanctuary vibrant with life, in which you'll serve as holy priests offering Christ-approved lives up to God

Romans 12:1-2
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.

Please pray for me in this time of transition that I may hear Gods call and respond to it.


PS I know you are all wondering about the adoption update. We are waiting on our classes we were supposed to take them in April but the were postponed until June. Which was really a blessing as we were dealing with some other stuff at that time. So we will take thos and then have our home study hopefully in July then we will be ready! We are very excited.