Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Open mouth kissing...

I have waited a few days to write this post because I am not sure what to write. We are called to an extravagant love for all of Gods people and I fail so miserably at this on most days either because I am being to selfish or because I am to afraid of the repercussions of that love. Last Saturday my husband and I took a meal to this hospice where people with AIDS can go if they have nowhere to go and die. We have taken a few meals and have always wanted to stay but this was the first time we had the chance to. So we come bearing pork sandwiches and brownies. We meet the nurses and all the residents.We tour the place. There is a man who is lying in a dark room the nurses say he doesn't get up. You can tell the end is near for him. We sit down and have a meal. We watch Twilight. Matt has a conversation in Spanish. The men there are uncomfortable with us there. The nurses say lots of people bring food but no one has ever stayed. We are in and out in an hour and a half. I cry all the way home because it all feels so stupid and tiny. Sorry about how your life turned out here is some pork. Sorry you are alone. Sorry you somehow slipped through cracks. I cry that night in the shower because I have a house my health a job my family my husband. I cry the whole next day because I wish that I would have held the man who was in the dark rooms hand and told him about how he has a Creator who is completely in love with him.I cry because I love Gods people with an arms length pursed mouth kind of love. I cry out for God to teach me to love in a arms thrown wide kind of love. I ask God to teach me to open mouth kiss His people.

1 comment:

Diana Latham said...

I almost feel that I ruin the moment by even commenting. I did want to thank you for sharing this vulnerable time with your community. The themes of my private thoughts and prayers have been about self-love. Are we trusting ourselves with Him? We watch Him put Himself on that cross....do we embrace that same cross of surrender? May we all do more open mouth kissing where He calls.