My life is a series of questions right now....Will they stay? Should they stay? How bad will it hurt if they leave? How long will they stay? When is there next visit? Are they confused? What are there parents like? Do they miss them? and thousands more. Some times when it is really hard or when I am scared about the heartache that I will experience if these children are not ours I ask Matt "Why did we do this?" and he says "Because we were called" or "Because He told us too?" and I believe that is true. I am amazed at Gods faithfulness to keep speaking to us even when we spend so little time listening. I have spent very little time in devotion in the last three weeks since the girls arrived. I have prayed a lot asking the questions listed above and many more. This is he scripture he has given me Romans 12:12
12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Praise God for His goodness is over all things!
2 comments:
I had very little formal devotion this past year. Some was a break from working in a church. Some was laziness. Some was having too many urgent yet ordinary things to attend to - like when Jedi wakes up as soon as I do.
I've just started a new workbook. You should see my journals. Went from every day b/f Jedi to maybe every other month with Lilia.
Love
Love your openness, Rachel, has always been one of my favorite things about you.
As they say, questions often tell us more than answers ever do. I think that one of the things that your questions tell us is that you are loving these girls. However long they stay, you have let the Father live through you into their lives. We can identify with Mary when the Lord said that a "sword would pierce her soul". Yes, big or little struggles, holding on or letting go, we hurt right along with the children we are called to love.
Along with Josh, I also echo the thought that you can meditate on any scripture for a long time. Take the one you quoted.....could let that soak into me for a while! Love you.
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