God is my salvation

I finally got the call. The call that I always wondered about. When it would come? Where I would be? What I would be doing?Who would be on the other end? What they would say?

My last blog I talked about adoption frenzy, well that frenzy had spread to rest of my life. I wanted to quit my job, and sell my house, then I wanted to remodel my house, and so on. I was itchy, restless, and losing sleep. I wanted answers what was next, what did God have for me?Then one night driving home from a fondue night the Lord spoke very clearly (why does He always talk to me in the car?) He said essentially wherever I send you, whatever I have for you, is good it always is. So just stop questiioning and enjoy it. I went home crashed and slept through the night. the next morning I was sitting in my classroom talking to a women who I work with (who was instumental in Matt and I taking this journey) and I was sharing with her what the Lord had told me, then my class phone rang and it was Matt which was unusual. He said "Do you remember Baby Boy?" My mind raced he was one that we had been submitted for a couple of months ago out of Houston. The next words out of his mouth were some of the sweetest I have ever heard "We were chosen." Screaming and crying, jumping and running ensued. I got a baby. I got MY baby.

The next week was a whirlwind the lawyer from Houston came to visit. We began to ready ourselves and the house and the children for our new addition.

To give you some backstory for this next part I am going to share something I haven't shared with many. The Lord told me a long time ago that He was going to give me an Afircan American boy and I would call him Isaiah. Matt knew this my family and my caseworkers and I think most of them thought I was a little crazy.

So we get to go to Houston to meet Baby Boy (his bio Mom did not name him before leaving him at the hospital). We get there we meet him he is perfect and beautiful and ours. We are sitting visiting with the caseworker. I said "I know he wasn't named but have the foster parents been calling him anything?" She said "Yes, Isaiah" My heart stopped " From the very begining like since he was in care?" I asked while laughing (Matt was behind me holding Isaiah crying) She looked at me strangely and said "Is everything allright?" I looked at her asked " Are you a believer?" She said "Yes" so I said "Well a long time ago the Lord said he would give me an African American baby boy and his name would be Isaiah". She looked at me and said "Well I guess he was right"

And isn't He always right? Along this journey there have been more times than I would like to say when I have been jealous of other peoples stories. When the get adotpive placements I am happy with just a twinge of jealousy. A little bit of when is it going to be my turn. But as my story continues to unfold I am humbled that I would ever doubt what my Father has for me. A friend sent me an email a couple of weeks ago that said "the waiting the longing it is all part of his best". This path has been so perfect so ordained so unbeliveable.


All honor and glory forever to God the author of my faith, my life, my path, and my destiny!


Isaiah means God is my salvation

Adoption Chaser

We were not chosen for the little girl. We have also not been chosen for the next five or so adoptions we were submitted for. This is a hard process. The foster children who are currently living with us have a strange and complicated case. We have no idea if the will possibly be up for adoption or not. This is a scary process. I long for a sure thing. This is an unsure process. But this is an amazing journey. One that has made me reevaluate what I say I believe and what I act like. I have learned so much in the last year about myself, the God I serve, the things I value, about my marriage, and about the people I have in my life. Awhile ago I blogged about a verse. The Lord gave me a verse when I first started fostering " Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." For the longest time I thought this verse was about the hope of having an adoptive child, about being patient in the affliction of waiting through this fostering process. The Lord has been working on my heart about this verse and I came to the realization (in the shower where I do all my great thinking) that my hope is not adoption, or in having a permanent family, but in the Lord, which cannot be touched by frustration, fear, or anything else. The Lord also revealed to me that that being a foster parent is not an affliction but a gift and an honor. In the last three months or so I have been an adoption chaser frantic almost that I need an adoptive placement by April. I have felt the clock ticking down because if I have one by April (which is most likely when our current placements case will be resolved) then if my foster children go back home then it will be less painful but that is not true. Having an adoptive placement will not reduce my attachment to the children I have know, and I already have something to hold onto Jesus. So I am giving up my fear, the fear that these are not my children and that my children are not coming. So that's me growing, changing, and realizing things ever so slowly. Thank God He is patient with me, and faithful, and good and in control.