Well we are back on the open placement list after a two month break. The two months off were spent grieving and processing the experience having then losing the girls. I wish that I could say that I used the time wisely but I mostly shopped and watched TV. This morning I woke up early this morning to spend time with God. I intend to do this many mornings but truly do not most mornings. I listened to some worship music and read and prayed and wrote in my journal. I listened to a Waterdeep song that I have heard many times but never made much of an impact. This morning the words really took root in my heart.
All of my fears and trials Lord All of my doubts All of my shouts All of my fears and trials Lord Rest in You All of my hopes and smiles Lord All of my songs All of my longings All of my hopes and smiles Lord Rest in You You’re loving You’re patient You’re strong and true All goodness All mercy are found in You All of the praises of the Earth Rest in You All of our worries and our shame All of our hiding All of our fighting All of our worries and our shame Rest in You All of our greatest victories Lord All of our passions All that we have Everything we hold back, Oh Lord We rest in You All Praise to the One who loves me All of the nations of the Earth All of our wills All of our idols All of the nations of the EarthThey Rest in You All of the times and seasons Lord All of our griefs All of our All of the times and seasons Lord
Then I read Psalm 27 and the end of it reads
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Then I rolled over and checked my phone and had a bout 12 missed calls from our caseworker between 10:45 and 11:00 pm and I knew that we had missed a placement. I was so sad and frustrated and angry. But those sweet word of reassurance that He gave me early this morning took the edge off of these feelings. I will wait in the Lord and for the Lord for He is faithful....
